Thursday, November 20, 2008

Mothers And Other Strangers

It's no secret to my close friends that my mother and I have always had a difficult relationship. I was an only child, she a single working mother, and we always had different ideas about what was best for me. I found her smothering and over-protective; she thought I was rebellious and disresepectful. I think she's nuts, she thinks I'm a bitch. That's how it's always been with us.

Over the past few months, something has changed about her. My mother, whom I always regarded as strongwilled and stubborn, has become frail and unsure. Physically, she has aged rapidly, and her health has gotten worse. I'm trying to talk her in to going to the doctor, but I think it's past the point of reasoning or pleading with her to go. No, I'm going to have to make the appointment for her, and take her.

The husband and I suspect that she may have had a mild stroke about a month ago. She said that she stumbled and hit her head on the door of her car as she was getting in to leave work. We tried to get her to go to the doctor for a CAT scan, but she refused. Since that time, she has become weaker, has trouble walking, and has recently begun having hallucinations. She forgets the words she's about to speak, and gets easily confused, especially in the evening. She knows that there's something wrong,but doesn't know what.

Talking with the husband today, we've decided that we're going to make the appointment for her, and take her to the doctor. I'm also going to talk to her about staying in our home. While I was initially excited about the prospect of her moving in to her own apartment, I don't think it would be safe for her to do so. If she were to fall or worse, there wouldn't be anyone there to help her. Until the time comes that she may be in need of constant care, I want her to stay with us.

I'm struggling with the fact that my mother is getting older, and needs my care. Her aging is a sure sign that I'm getting older too. I'm still only 32, right? At any rate, if you could think some positive thoughts for my momma, I sure would appreciate it. She needs some good juju right now!

1 comment:

Lurker Girl said...

Good Ju-Ju to your Momma--. I worry about this happening with me and my daughter.

DD is an only child as well--and I hate the thought of her having to take care of me when I get older. She doesn't want to be a burden to you, but you and DH are doing the right thing by making that appointment and having her stay with you