Thursday, December 18, 2008

Family BS

Well, the whole 'drama-free' holiday that I was desperately hoping for this Christmas is slipping out of my hands. I can't see anything but a Jerry Springer celebration ahead of me.

My MIL has decided that she will come over bright and early on Christmas Eve to 'help'. I have to work Christmas Eve, but don't know for sure when I'll be getting off of work. If I knew she could get the dinner ready in my kitchen without destroying everything, I could deal with it better, I think. I have severe OCD issues about my kitchen, and the thought of someone else cooking, leaving the burners on, burning stuff, melting plastic lids, triggering the smoke alarm, etc., just makes me break out in hives.

My FIL and Grand-FIL will also be coming. The FIL and the MIL have been divorced for 30 years, but still can't stand to be in the same room together. Gramps has had a terrible year health-wise, so he's crankier than usual. I adore Gramps, and to see him frail and quite frankly, nearing the end of his days with us, saddens me deeply. I guess he's earned his right to crank, given what he's been through.

My BIL, the Husband's brother and his wife are currently separated. We invited him and their two sons to come over, but his wife, Princess Crazyhead, has decided that the boys need to be with her and her parents on Christmas Eve, so we won't get to see them. Of all the family craziness, this hurts the most. I know their boys don't understand what's going on in their lives right now, and my heart breaks for them. I would love to be able to hug them and tell them that we love them always, but I won't get to do that. Chickenhead doesn't understand either; he just wants to play Wii with his cousins. The word on the family grapevine is that she has said some very cruel things to my BIL about his family, and I can't help but wonder what she tells the boys.

Nan and Pap, the Husband's maternal grandparents, may also join us. They do not get along with FIL or Gramps very well. Talk about everyone holding a grudge. Nan also likes to pass along 'advice' she hears on the radio from the evangelists she listens to. One of my favorite gems she's passed to me was a warning not to have my baby in a hospital because it would be microchipped (to the best of my knowledge, Chickenhead does NOT have a microchip). Microchips, are after all, how they caught OKC bomber Timothy McVeigh so dang fast. Everyone gets a chip when they go in to the military, don't you know that?

So, within the next few days, I see a long, extended trip to a little place I like to call The Misty Arbors. In Misty Arbors, everything is relaxed, mellow and a little fruity. I may make a side trip down to the old Boone's Farm as well. I know I'm always welcome there, and the family troubles are far, far away.

1 comment:

Jayme said...

Family - it's why we moved 2,900 miles away. Hope you survive the holidays. Merry Christmas!