There's a scandal brewing here at the Casa. A scandal that will rival any juicy political story you've heard about in the past three months. It involves...a HAT!
But not just any hat, no. This scandal is all about this hat-
The Husband purchased this hat for Chickenhead at Tarjay a couple of weeks ago. The Husband thought it was cool-looking and Chickenhead likes it, too. A win-win, right? Wrong!
This essentially comes down to a difference of opinion over design and aesthetics. The ear-flaps have snaps on them, but not to snap together under the chin. The snaps are there only to secure the flaps in the 'up' position, on top of the hat. It was designed that way. I'm betting the designer was a mom who knows that you're never going to get that kid to snap it together under his chin, so just let it go, already.
But no. The Husband, who feels his life is driven by logic (ha!), demands that the flaps somehow be secured under the chin so as to provide maximum protection to the ears from the cold winter winds. Well why didn't he buy a hat that had flaps that did this? I don't know, either.
Don't worry though, because the Husband has the answer. At the fabric store, he had me purchase a plastic buckle and a length of nylon webbing. Apparently I'm supposed sew this webbing on to the flaps and then attach the buckle. I tried to patiently point out that the hat was not designed for this. The Husband, however, is certain that it was, but is somehow 'irregular'.
Chickenhead is against any buckle business under his chin, and I can't say as I blame him. Kids today are savvy. And he knows that he risks looking like a big dork if I sew this buckle on his flaps. Nobody buckles their flaps, is what I'm trying to say.
So, I have a plan. I know this is probably wrong of me, and probably goes against all laws of parenting, but I'm doing it anyway. I told Chickenhead that we simply had to get through the rest of January and February and maybe part of March and the hat season would be over. I will conveniently be 'too busy' to sew the buckle and webbing on the flaps. Over the spring and summer, the hat will lie forgotten in the hall closet. Come next fall, Chickenhead's sweet noggin might be too big to fit in it and he can get a new hat. Pretty smart, huh?
The Husband will probably catch on to my diabolical plan, but by the time he does, it will be too late. He really doesn't know who he's messing with.