Occasionally, a man that I like will over time fall from my good graces. It may be some incredibly stupid thing he does publicly, or maybe he'll make some asinine statement in an interview that turns me off.
What's so difficult for me to figure out with today's guy is, when and why did I fall out of love with him?
Let's go back about 20 years, when his career was first firing in to high gear-
Ah, Old Bono. 'Joshua Tree' Bono. You were the Celtic man of my dreams, and I found U2's songs uplifting and full of spirit and fire. I stuck with you, even when others left during the 'Auchtung Baby' and 'Zooropa' phase. I have to say it, though, you lost me with 'Pop'. The whole Mephisto thing? Sorry babe, didn't get it. It wasn't you. And I know, it was supposed to be a parody of a rock star, but much like Joaquin's slipped gear after playing Johnny Cash, you didn't quite come out right on the other side.
I'm sorry, I just have to say it- Would you take off those ridiculous sunglasses already?!
You started hanging out with Frank Sinatra, and bragging about it. You got a bit annoying in interviews. Edge and Larry and Adam were starting to look at you like, 'for the love of God would you just shut the hell up, dude!'. And then you started getting political. And there's nothing wrong with that so much, a lot of musicians do it. But I don't know. Coming from you, it was kind of annoying.
And I'm not knocking your humanitarian efforts at all. The work you've done for 3rd world countries is nothing short of incredible. But you know, maybe you could spread some of the work around a little? Do you have to do ALL of it? No, you don't. You can still be a humanitarian and not travel the planet saving the starving, the homeless, the sick and the rainforests. Really, you can. Take a hint from one of your own songs, and stop 'trying to throw your arms around the world'.
Look, I'll always be in to you. The music is first and foremost and I'll be buying that new CD when it drops next month. But really darling, I need for you to get over yourself just a bit. Get rid of the sunglasses, and just sing the songs. You'll feel better about yourself and maybe the Edge won't be giving you the stinkeye all the time.