Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Dazed and Confused

Today, I'm going to tell y'all a story from my past. It's a story of sex (ok, maybe not a lot of sex), drugs and rock and roll, so if those are kind of delicate topics for you, you might want to go to my post a couple of days ago about Denis Leary and Seth Rogen.

OK. It was November of 1984, or was it '85? I don't remember for sure, but I know it was somewhere around there. Every year, our high school had King Louie Night, which was a big deal for Juniors and Seniors. The local King Louie Ice Chateau would be open for our amusement all night long. All the ice skating, bowling, video games and pool we could handle. And if you didn't go to King Louie Night, you were a social outcast of the highest order, so you'd best find a way to be there.

My best friend Beth and I were jazzed to go. We would wear our tightest designer jeans, feather and tease our hair just so, and impress the men of our dreams. We were going with a group of kids; one guy had a van, so he could easily take ten or eleven people. We had the outfits, the hairspray and the transportation. Game on!

Since this was taking place on a Friday night, Beth and I decided after school to take a nap, so that we wouldn't be all tired that night. But we were too excited to sleep and we made a few prank phone calls, listened to some Ozzy on cassette and sat around doing our hair and putting on extra black eyeliner. We got dressed, and really, I don't know how we got jeans on that were so tight. It makes my stomach hurt to think about it now! At last it was time to go, and Darrin showed up with his van. Let's party!

Now I'm not going to sit here and pretend that I never indulged in some substances when I was in high school I did and there's nothing I can do to go back and change that. So it goes without saying that the group I hung out with were all pretty much stoners. And when we got in that van, the party was already starting. A joint and a Big Gulp filled with a screwdriver that was mostly vodka were being passed around. By the time we made the 20-minute drive to King Louie, we were good and baked. There was a bit of a panic when we thought we had lost a joint when we went to get out of the van, but it was found, and all was well. We all fell out and stood out in the parking lot, assuring each other that our pupils weren't too dilated, and that no, we didn't smell like weed at all.

I'll be honest here, I don't remember a lot of what we did once we went inside. I know we went skating, well if you could call it that. Ice skating is not easy when you have ingested some substances. We played pool, and while Beth was bickering with her boyfiend (which is what she did no matter who her boyfriend was), I was probably pouting because the boy I had a crush on wouldn't give me the time of day. But I do remember that Beth and I found everything to be absolutely hilarious, and if I can't recall much about that night I'd like to think it was because we spent so much time laughing our silly heads off.

Three AM rolled around all too soon, and that meant closing time. As our group all met up, we all realized that we hadn't seen much of Darrin that night. Come to think of it, we hadn't seen much of Frank, either. But the van was still there, so we figured that the two of them either got kicked out, or had come out to sleep it off. When we got to the van and opened the doors, no Darrin. No Frank. And this was the days before cell phones, so it's not like any of us were able to just whip a phone out of our pockets and call someone. Nope, we were stuck. Beth and I walked back up to the entrance at King Louie, but they were closed and wouldn't let us back in to use the phone.

Not knowing what else to do, we all hopped in the van and just sat. A couple of the guys dug through the ashtray to find a roach and they smoked that. The rest of us sat there, tired and hung over, not knowing what to do next. A fog had not only descended inside the van, but outside, too. We couldn't see across the parking lot, let alone across the street. One of the guys kept saying that there weren't any pay phones around, we were screwed, we would just have to wait for Darrin to come back for his van.

Finally tired of listening to all the guys talk their stupid crap, one girl, Lori told Jerry to go with her, they were going to look for a phone. They took off in to the fog...About 10 minutes later they came back. Turns out, none of us burnouts noticed that King Louie happened to be on a major thorough-fare, and there was a strip mall and a fast food joint right across the road. Lori called her dad from the payphone, and he would come pick us up. About a half hour later, the remaining eight of us took one last stumble out of the van and crammed in the the back of Lori's dad's Toyota pick-up with a camper shell. Beth and I finally got back to her house around 6AM.

Her mom was waiting up for us, and just looked at us and shook her head. She asked,
'have you girls been smoking pot?' We denied it emphatically, but Beth forgot that when she smoked, she broke out in hives. So her mom knew what we had been up to, she just wanted to see if we would lie about it. She told us to get our sorry asses to bed, and we slept until about 1 the next afternoon. We woke up ravenous and got dressed and made a beeline for the nearest convience store for Doritos and Coke.

Now that I'm grown and a parent, I hope that my son never does something this stupid and irresponsible. But having said that, this was one of the best nights of my life!


Fragrant Liar said...

Yeah, we can all hope our kids don't do the stupid things we did. In my case, most of that is true (they're grown now and have admitted as much), but I still out-did them. Thank God.

Carol said...

DUDE! It was a totally different time then! Now the kids lace the dope with other chemicals, slip shit to each other....we just had sweet, simple weed! Ah those were the days!