Sunday, March 28, 2010

Spring Has Sprung, and I'm Ready To Spring This Joint

Well, I didn't realize it has been two weeks since my last post. Things have been crazy around here, and I'm not even really sure why. Let me see if I can recall everything...

I had a couple of days off, St. Pats and the 18th. We didn't go to the parade this year, because the weather was kind of drizzly and crappy. Instead, I went to see my friend Gayle, and got my hair did. A totally new hairstyle! Instead of having the mousy, stringy mop that was my old hair, my new and improved hair is a little shorter with layers and the color, oh the color! I told Gayle that I LOVED Sharon Osbourne's hair, but wasn't quite sure if I was ready to commit to that bold a color. She said not to worry, she would cook up something great. And she did! It's a dark brunette, with deep burgundy red highlights. I left her salon feeling like a million bucks! Then, I went to the eye doctor. I got new contacts, and new glasses. Again, a whole new look there, too. I picked out some dark brown frames, and I love them. Chickenhead said they make me look like a nerd, but whatever. I'm a hot nerd!

On the house hunt front...oh this is the thing that is just making me sick. Long story short, we didn't get the loan. But, we still want to move. I need to decide soon if I'm going to give Loony Landlady our notice. But first, we need to figure out where the hell we're moving to! And the moving itself. I have nightmares about it, I really do. We've lived here in the Casa for almost 7 years, and that is a LOT of crap, my friends. All the cabinets and drawers and closets to clean out. All the crap in the garage that the Husband has to sort through. And I'm not even going to mention Chickenhead's room. It doesn't really bother me as much as I thought it would that we didn't get the loan. What bothers me is that we seem to just be floating in limbo right now, not really knowing where we want to move to, let alone getting off of our butts and actually looking for a house. And the garage sale! We need to figure out when we're going to have the garage sale!

Chickenhead is doing well, except for one thing. Friday night, he told me he was having trouble breathing and his heart was beating really fast. I asked him if this happened all the time, and he said no, only in the evenings. The Husband and I think it may be related to the new ADD medication his doctor put Chickenhead on. I didn't have him take it yesterday or today, and I'm going to talk to his doctor tomorrow before I give it to him again. As much as I like for him to pay attention in school, I don't want him to have a heart attack doing it. That's not cool at all!

So that's about all that's going on. I got a mini-makeover and I have no idea what's going on. Nothing too unusual about that, I suppose.

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Men I Like- The Midlife Crisis Repeat Edition

Dear Lord I can't help myself. I suppose every woman has her 'free pass'. You know, the guy that's number 1 on her fantasy list, the guy that if, she hooked up with, her husband would turn a blind eye. You've got one, right? Well, I've come to realize, I have one, too. I don't think I've ever had a repeat for 'Men I Like', but this guy does it for me. It makes me fee slightly skeevy, knowing that I'm old enough to be his mom, but I think part of the pleasure of the free pass fantasy dude is that you know it's ok to think shameful thoughts about him, because it's not like you're ever going to see him. You never have to worry about looking perfect for him, making sure your legs are shaved, everything is plucked and spandex'd in to submission. You can just be you. So, I'm done rambling now, let us just feast our eyes on the pictorial. Most of these were from a photo gallery on Rolling Stone magazine's website.



Mmm-hmm...I see you baby...shakin' that thing...




Have mercy...wait, who's feet are those?!


Yes, momma likey!!


Just to prove that I'm not obsessed and need a sedative and possibly a restraining order, the next couple of Men I Like posts will shine the spotlight on a couple of other very delightful winter Olympians. I'm fine! Really!

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

Keeping It Really Real

My title today is a play on a common phrase at one of the more popular blogs out there in blog-land. You know which one. The one and only Pioneer Woman.

Now, let me state first and foremost, that I am NOT going to bash Ree personally. I don't know her, other than the brief moment I met her at her book signing here in Kansas City. This is more about Pioneer Woman than Ree. Because I don't believe that recent events demonstrate that PW is keeping it real; it's more a case of her altering reality to fit the needs of her blog.

I've been a regular reader of Mrs.G., first at Derwad Manor and now at The Women's Colony. If you've never been to the Colony, do yourself a favor and visit. There are a bunch of wonderful women over there, writing, talking, exchanging ideas. It's truly one of my favorite places on the web. I actually found Mrs.G. through Pioneer Woman, and I truly loved Mrs. G's home-schooling articles on PW's site.

Needless to say, I was more than dismayed that an article of Mrs. G's that was published last week caused such an uproar. An uproar of such epic proportions, that not only were people posting hateful, vitriolic comments about Mrs. G at PW's blog, but they were also spreading their hate speech to The Women's Colony. Further, two people took it upon themselves to find Mrs. G.'s phone number and CALL HER AT HOME. All the while, Ree sat by quietly and simply deleted any negative comments from her blog. At no time did she say anything to her posters about the judgmental comments that some of them made, at no time did she address the hate and intolerance that some of them exhibited so viciously. Instead, on Sunday evening, Ree instead posted a comment of her own, that really came off kind of half-hearted and had a 'can't we all get along' vibe.

I suppose that if that works for her, fine. It's her blog, after all, and she can moderate or not as she chooses. But, I've lost a huge amount of respect for her for throwing Mrs. G under the bus, letting her twist in the wind, however you want to term it. I'm sure that Ree has her reasons for what she did. Maybe she didn't want to offend her readers or her sponsors. Maybe she wants her blog to reflect some idealized perfection that she feels it needs to conform to. I don't know. All I do know is that I found her silence and then fiddle-dee-dee attitude more offensive than anything Mrs. G. could have ever written.

I've learned at the Women's Colony, that not only does Mrs. G. have her contributors backs, but she has the back of every woman that comments as well. At the same time, she's not above calling someone out when they engage in stupid ass internet BS. For that reason, I'm done with PW. I doubt she'll miss me, and to be honest, I wouldn't care if she did or not. I need integrity and tolerance much more than I need pictures of calf nuts.

Monday, March 8, 2010

Tales of a Fashion Don't

While I try to keep up with the times when it comes to clothing, I'm not a slave to fashion. At least not like I was when I was single. Hey, once I bagged the Husband, the race was over! I retired and put myself out to pasture. So to speak.

And sure, when I was in high school, I followed all the latest trends: skin-tight designer jeans, leg warmers, big hair, lace gloves and those black rubbery bangles, I was all over it. I really thought I had it going on.

But as I've been going through my mom's pictures, I've come across some disturbing evidence that even then, I had fashion challenges. Observe-


Senior year, as a member of the flag squad. I look like I want to cram that flag pole somewhere.



Also from senior year, my best friend Rhonda (in the pink) and me in a blue dress that my friend Carol accurately described as 'having more ruffles than a bag of chips'. We were pretty shiny that night, huh?



Maybe it wasn't just me? The 80's were pretty bad fashion-wise for everyone, right? Is there something hiding in the back of your closet that you'd rather forget?

Saturday, March 6, 2010

Men I Like- The Hot Ginge Edition

Oh dear. Here I go again. My friends truly don't get my taste in men. I suppose I can understand, I mean not every woman can appreciate the raw charisma of Mickey Roarke, or the undeniable talent of Joaquin Phoenix(although I'm still wondering WTF about him). No, I'm perfectly OK with the fact that I have quirky taste in men.

Today's man I like is technically young enough to be my son. Or I'm technically old enough to be his mother. Whatever. He's got red hair and I tell you what, there is something about red hair that gets people riled up. They either love it, or they hate it. I happen to love it. Conan O'Brien? Gorgeous, IMO. Lucille Ball? Comedic genius, I'm sure we all can agree. But there is no doubt that red hair definitely strikes a cord with people.

Today's man I like has been described as the love child of these two-
Carrot Top (who is a scary redhead, kind of like Pennywise the clown in 'It')


and Frances McDormand (one of my most favorite things about the movie 'Fargo')


Yes, I am talking about Olympic gold-medalist Shaun White. Let's stop for a moment to gaze-


I think part of what makes him so attractive to me is the fact that he's doing such extreme stunts, and he makes it look so easy. He skateboards, snowboards, skydives, etc., and to someone like me (who can barely walk and chew gum at the same time) the fact that he gets off on flying down a snow-packed mountain on a piece of wood is pretty awesome! He's a sports rock star, but at the same time, Shaun White is carefully maintaining his public image, because he knows that kids look up to him. We haven't heard anything negative about him (not yet, so don't blow it, Shaun)and as a parent, I appreciate that.

When you break down the parts of his features, he's not conventionally good looking by any means. But he carries himself well; his confidence comes shining through. Confidence and self-assurance are very sexy traits, I do believe. He's got nice teeth, too!


Finally, let's check him out in action-

Thursday, March 4, 2010

Life In The Fast Lane (is slowing me down)

So, my blogging has been sporadic as of late. It seems like I just haven't had enough time lately. Where does all the time go, was I always stretched this thin? Why am I not thin, what with all this stretching?

Anyway, I will briefly summarize the MIL story:

My MIL, while good intentioned, has some personal issues that quite often lead her to make some not so wise choices. You would think, that being 60 years old, she would have learned by now that lying and deception never really get you anywhere. But I guess she loves a good challenge, because she never stops trying. Maybe I should admire her determination to beat the system and stick it to the man every chance she gets.

After being married to The Husband for 15 years, I have pretty much learned to take anything his mother tells me, divide it in half and subtract six, and then I might have an inkling of what the truth is. After being in the hospital for four days because of a diabetic episode, she came to stay with us. Let me say right here that I am not a diabetic, but I'm not stupid. I know that if you say, drink two 12-packs of Coke, eat a tub of caramel sauce, an entire loaf of bread and frozen dinners, your diabetes is not 'under control' no matter how often you test or how diligently you take your insulin. Insulin does not cancel out the Coke.

Whenever my MIL comes over, I'll admit it, I become a nervous wreck. I'm always waiting for something to happen, like finding one of her fake fingernails in an ice cube or having to listen to her dry heave all night long. This time though, she crossed the line. She slept in my bed. IN MY BED! Am I the only one that has an issue with someone else sleeping in their bed? Am I the only Momma Bear out there? Maybe it wouldn't have bothered me so much if she hadn't moved my nightstand so that she could plug in her cell phone, and I know I wouldn't have come unglued if she hadn't left the used kleenex under my pillow. But when I asked her about it and she gave me not one, but three (3!!) BS excuses in less than five minutes, I knew that I. Was. Done.

I know that a lot of her issues are caused by a combination of uncontrolled diabetes and some other medical issues, so please don't mis-understand me. I do want to see her get well and stay well. But, medical issues are no excuse for not respecting someone else's privacy. When that boundary got crossed, I lost respect. The whole episode is over now, and she's back home, and doing relatively well, all things considering.

In other Casa news, I think we're going to go house shopping this weekend. It's hard for me to get excited about it right now. Everything isn't as firm with the bank as I thought it was, so I don't want to fall in love with some house only to find out we wouldn't be able to get it. I don't like being in limbo!

Chickenhead is still growing his hair for Locks of Love. I'm anxious to see how long he will actually do this. He mentioned in passing that he has a strings concert coming up at the local high school, but he doesn't know when it is. Which means, much like the show in January, we'll be running around at the last minute trying to find something for him to wear. He thinks it's the 19th. Of March. Or maybe April. Guess I'd better email the strings teacher, huh?